The Real thing
by avidmind
Summary: Fanny is in portsmouth but Henry Crawford never ran away with Maria.My take on what could have happened did i mention that i am a Fanny/henry fan? comments and critisism is welcome !R&R! mansfield park
1. Chapter 1

**AN: this is my take on Mansfield par. It starts off where Jane left off in ports moth. Remember in my version Henry Crawford never cheated with nasty Maria. I also do not claim that I can write as well as Miss Austen (it's sorely obvious). Please read with an open mind and remember to leave all of you comments. In the famous words of one of my fellow authors: "criticism is love"**

She was sitting in the all too cramped drawing room, when she got the shock of her life. The headliner in the society page was about none other than her cousin Maria. To sum it all up, the news paper reported that the young Mrs. Rushworth had ran off with some man. The fact that Maria had jilted her foolish husband was not quite what had astonished Fanny; it was rather the surprise of finding out that she had not run away with Mr. Crawford. Fanny had never believed that the man could change, and she had been expecting him to do something that would prove it to him and everybody else. As she skimmed through the article, she had half hopped that she would find his name. Unfortunately, Maria's latest escapades had nothing to do with Mr. Crawford.

It was with a deep sigh and a heavy heart that she placed the newspaper down on the table and looked out the window. Her thoughts drifted to Mansfield and its inhabitants. She wondered painfully at how the family would take the news, especially Uncle Tom. Fanny knew how much he loved all his children and how it would hurt him to find out how selfish his favorite daughter was. She was sure that Edmund would have the good sense to console him and his mother. Edmund had been very near perfection in her estimation. Ever since they were children he had been her savior. He used to wipe her tears when she missed her family, and he protected her as much as possible from Aunt Morris. In fact it was only until recently, that she had ceased to all but worship him. Ever since the arrival of the Crawfords, everyone had changed (except for Maria, she was still as vain as ever!). Edmund acted like a love sick school boy who could not make up his mind, Cousin Julia became a back stabbing monster and Aunt Morris seemed to have a new found hatred of Fanny! As much as she wanted to hate Miss Crawford, she could not blame her for everything. In fact it was not the woman's fault that her cousin had fallen in love with her. And it was her brother's fault that Julia and Aunt Morris hated her. _HE_ had been the one who had toyed with Julia and Maria's affections, _HE_ had been the one who had out of nowhere asked her to marry him and put her in an awkward position as a result.

She hated him, she told her self. She hated, hated, hated him! Oh who was she lying to, she did not really hate him; she simply could not bring herself to. Fanny admitted to her self that she disliked him greatly though, because he had lied to her family and turned them against her. Why? She asked, why did he have to insist on pretending to love her just so that he could have a laugh? If it hadn't been for him Uncle Tom would have not gotten angry with and sent her away. She could be at Mansfield helping him to accept the unfortunate news. But no! _He_ had to ruin everything! But that's all he did, where ever he went he destroyed every and any one in his path! He didn't even, she thought, have the decency to run away with Maria and let her life go back to normal. Oh what was she saying? She was only angry 

because now she had absolutely no reason to deny him, except of course the fact that he didn't love her and that her heart belonged to Edmund. If only she thought sadly…..

Her thoughts were interrupted though, by her sister Susan's sweet voice.

"Fanny, there is a letter for you"

"Oh really, from whom?" She very well knew who it was from. Unfortunately the only letters she ever got these days were from _him_.

Susan smiled "your admirer Mr. Cranton, Crawley. Or was it Cranberry. Well what ever his name is, it seems as though he did not write as much as he usually does" she joked with a sly mile on her seemingly innocent face.

Fanny laughed slightly and sighed. "Well hand it over then."

Susan complied. However she did not quit the room. Fanny turned the letter in her hand but set it down on top of the paper without inspecting it further.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Susan asked after a minute or so.

"Not with you gawking, I won't."

"Oh why not Frances?" she wined.

"Because, because it is personal and I … well I don't know. I just need to read it in private." She exclaimed ,flustered.

"I suppose you are right. I am sorry that I was rude to try and intrude." She said lowering her eyes.

"Oh no it's quite alright; I'm not cross with you." Frances didn't like to see such a joyous girl reduced to low spirits. "Come here and give me a hug and maybe I might tell you a bit about the letter tomorrow."

Susan instantly smiled "Really, Fanny?"

"Yes maybe"

And with those encouraging words, little Susan skipped out o f the room leaving Fanny once again to her thoughts.

The rest of the evening fanny tried to act as normal as possible. But the letter kept nagging at her conscious. She sat through dinner not making more that a few monosyllabic responses to questions thrown her way. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice any marked difference in her comportment. After dinner she begged to be excuse complaining about her head. This was not really a lie because she had so much on her mind that was distressing her so. She tried to sleep but her thoughts would not seem to let her. She was sitting up starring at the walls when she finally decided to read his letter. 

Fanny reached under the mattress and tore the seal. As her eyes roved over his neat hand writing she noticed that this one was indeed short.

My dearest Fanny_, _it began.

I suppose that I should not call you mine but I could not stop myself from writing it. I know as I pen the words that it will most likely cause you pain to hear me refer to you as "my" but I must, for one last time at least. I have spent the last few months trying to win you and to prove myself to you but it seems that my efforts have come to nothing. You have no space in your heart for me and for that; I have only my self to blame. All of my life I have though of nothing but my own pleasure and I know that I have hurt people in the process. When I met you for the first time I did not realize that you would help to open my eyes to my own folly. I went around like the lecherous fool I was breaking hearts with out a care. I must even shamefully admit that at a time I had even considered playing with your affections. But oh sweet Fanny you turned my vile devices on me and I fell in love with you. Although I can not say exactly how it happened, I remember the night at you ball when we danced together. I also remember the fist time I asked for your hand and the fear and anger you had in your eyes. At that point I could not understand why you would not return my affection. I refused to accept your rejection and continued to harass you at ever y turn. Little did I know that I was only further alienating you. Had I known that I was causing you shame and pain I promise you that I would not have been so insistent. Believe me, it was never my intention to force you to accept.

If you knew how much I love you, you would begin to comprehend exactly how hard my next words are for me. From the bottom of my very soul I want you to know that I love you Fanny price, you and you alone and that it is with remores and regret that I tell you that because of my strength of this feeling, I will let you go. –

Wait had she read that right? Did he just say that he would "let her go"? Fanny frantically read on.

I have come to the painful realization that for whatever reason you are lost to me. Even though I would gladly spend the rest of my life trying to win you, I know that I must let you be. I wish never to harm you as I have already. Please, all that ask is that you would please forgive me of my sins against you and your family. Just know however that I am not sorry for one thing and that is loving you.

I could go on forever about the depth of my feeling for you but for you sake I know that I have to stop. I will always…

Yours eternally

Henry Crawford.

As she read the final words she was in too much shock to realize that there were tears rolling down her cheeks. It was only when the first few drops hit the paper that she began to wipe her eyes. Fanny was so over whelmed with emotion that she did not quite know what to think. This was what she had wanted all along. The very words that she had hopelessly longed for were right before her, in her hands! Fanny knew that she should have been happily jumping for joy but instead she was obviously crying.

Why? She asked herself. He had finally set her free. She could go return home now and every thing would go back to normal! She folded the letter and replaced it under her bed. The rest of the night she kept her mind on her beloved Mansfield and only half succeeded in raising her spirits.

The next morning at breakfast Fanny barely ate anything. She was so distracted that she did not seem to notice the dirt in her mother's kitchen. Susan had been watching her sister and could not help but note how very sad and pale she looked this morning. She attributed Fanny's somberness to the contents of the letter. That Mr. Crawford must have told Fanny that he did not love her anymore she thought. Although Fanny had never told her that he loved her or vice versa, Susan was old enough to understand that there was something between her sister and the man. She had seen the way he looked at her sister, that day when he had walked them home from church. There had been a tenderness there that even as young as she was, was not lost on her. Susan made up her mind that she would try and to discover the cause of her sister's displeasure and then perhaps she could help her feel better.

"Frances" she said gently.

"Huh, oh yes what is it Susan?" she answered.

"Oh nothing" She faltered but mustered up the courage to continue. "Did he, I mean did the letter upset you?"

"Yes-no. Well I am fine dear Susan." she said trying to smile.

"Dear fanny if he told you that he dose not love you, I am sorry!" she blurted with tears of indignation in her eyes. "Please tell me, I promise that I won't tell any one."

Fanny could feel the tears welling up in her as she spoke. "No it's not the letter" she struggled to find an excuse the would satisfy the girl. "It was the news about Cousin Maria that has distraught me so." She lied

"Oh are you sure Fanny. So your Mr. Crawford dose still loves you then?"

Fanny just shook her head up and down.

"Oh I am so happy that I wont even ask you to keep your promise of telling my about his letter." As she said the words the girl jump up and embraced Fanny in a warm hug. Fanny wanted to cry in her arms but she pulled herself together. As Susan broke away a frown popped on to her face.

"I am sad to hear about you cousin, Mrs. Rushworth though. Although I am not really sure what she did, I did hear mother telling Father that she would never be forgiven."

"It's better that you do not know but remember to pray for her alright."

"Yes Fanny. You know I even pray for Your Mr. Crawford."

Fanny smiled but she was dying inside. The rest of the day she made sure that her expressions did not give her a way. At supper that evening, she even engaged in conversation and tried to sound jovial. As she lay in bed that night she dreamt of Edmund. In her dream he had come to Portsmouth to rescue her and he had asked her to marry him. But before Fanny could respond, she was awaked by what she thought was a knock on her door. Although she was a bit put out, the memory of her dream brought a smile to her face.

For the next two weeks Fanny was truly happy. She was eagerly awaiting the news that she would be able to return home to Mansfield. One morning she was out with Susan at the local market when a man selling some paintings caught her eye. She asked Susan to wait for her as she went over for a closer look. There was on painting of the beach that seemed startlingly familiar but she could not quite place it. "How much for that picture sir?" she asked.

"Oh for a nice young miss such as yeh self I'd say 'bout two pence."

On impulse she answered. "I will take it." As she made her way back to her sister Susan saw the picture and looked at her quizzically.

"Did you just buy that?"

"Yes for two pence."

"TWO! It's not worth half of that."

"It probably isn't but I could not help myself." Fanny took Susan's hand in her own. "Come now let us hurry home. Mama needs us to bring this entire home for supper tonight."

As the two entered through the kitchen door, Fanny notice that he house keeper was not only cleaning up but she also seemed to be getting the tea things together.

"Mrs. Ross do you need any help?"

"Aye yes I sure do Miss. There is a man that came in wanting to have a word with your mother." She said with a conspiratorial grin on her face that disconcerted Fanny.

"Oh" was all Fanny could say. Her mind was swirling. This man could not possibly be Mr. Crawford! He had promised, well not promised, but he had written that he was letting her go! He couldn't really say all of that and then go back on it…but knowing Mr. Crawford. Fanny reminded her self who she was dealing with and steeled herself for yet another uncomfortable confrontation with him.

"Miss could you take in that tray please?" asked Mrs. Ross.

"Of course"

As she walked into the passage way, Fanny realized just how unprepared she was. She had hopped for too much and unfortunately had set herself up for disappointment. The girl was so distraught that she had not even bothered to make eye contact with anyone in the room.

Mrs. Price was the first to speak. Gesturing towards the man settled across from her she said  
"Aren't you going to greet your cousin Fanny?"

"My cousin?" As she mumbled the words, Edmund got up and turned to face her. He had a smile on his face but he seemed very haggard and tried. Edmund held his arms open for her. Fanny not believing her eyes could only stare. Noticing her discomfort, Edmund walked over and enveloped her in a warm embrace.

"You have no earthly idea how glad I am to see you" he whispered.

TBC

**An: SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK SO FAR? PLEASE LEAVE ANY THOUGHT OR COMMENTS YOU HAVE ******


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to every one who has read and reviewed as well so far****.****June W**** yes I promise that I am an all around Fanny and Henry fan and I also love happy endings! ****bianca89**** I agree not enough MP and too much P&P. ****full0fgrace**** I know that I should not have done that but I guess that we can pretend that Marry sent it but Susan kind of knew who was from any ways. Thanks ****Lady Nikka**** I hope that you like the story all the way to the end. Thanks again you guys! Thanks to every one else who has reviewed as well.**

"My cousin?" As she mumbled the words, Edmund got up and turned to face her. He had a smile on his face but he seemed very haggard and tried. Edmund held his arms open for her. Fanny not believing her eyes could only stare. Noticing her discomfort, Edmund walked over and enveloped her in a warm embrace.

"You have no earthly idea how glad I am to see you" he whispered.

"Oh Edmund" she whispered back. Her mind was whirling with joy. She was so happy that tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Your cousin was just telling me that Sir Bertram was requesting your presence back at Mansfield." Mrs. Price said

"Fanny you do not have come right now if you do not wish to" Edmund added. If only you knew fanny thought. " It's just that with all the uhm-unfortunate news, my mother has been complaining about not having you around and further more Tom is gravely ill and we all really need you Fanny, especially me. You are always calm in a crisis and I am sorely in need of an ally."

To hear one's self praised thus was all too much. Fanny was quite willing to leave at that very moment!

"Edmund, I will do whatever I can to help alleviate your burden." she said quietly.

With a smile he exclaimed "oh I am glad to hear it!"In a calmer tone he added "how soon can you be ready?"

Fanny looked at her mother. As much as she wanted to leave she could not just abandon her family here. Noticing her dilemma her mother spoke up. "I believe that your departure should be as soon as possible fanny. This is a good opportunity to repay your uncle and his family for their past kindness to you."

"Then I will return in two days for you Fanny." Fanny could only nod in response

Turning to Mrs. Price he said. "Thank you madam for you time. I wish that I could stay but I must be on my way."

"Oh Mr. Bertram you could stay with us if you would like" Fear spread across fanny's face. H most certainly could _not_! It would be too embarrassing for her.

"Oh no thank you. I could not possibly ask you to do so on such short notice, and besides I have already arranged for lodgings." He answered with a disarming smile.

"Alright then, Goodnight Sir"

--

The ride home had not been entirely what Fanny had expected, It lacked…..well honestly she herself was not quite sure exactly what she had expected. This realization led her to another, one that had far reaching implications. Fanny price had not the slights idea of what she wanted in life. She knew that she like any other person strived to have a happy life but that aspiration was trite and hackneyed. Fanny was yet to form any solid and incisive expectations for her self.

With further thought on the matter she also came to the conclusion that aside from maintaining moral uprightness, she actually had no expectations for those around her. She cared for Edmund but she could never tell him so because that would put decided pressure for him to act. But to do what, she didn't know. Oh such thoughts at this point were banal and pointless, she resolved. The only thing that Fanny could do was to be thankful that she was on her way home. Soon enough she would have so much to do; with nursing Tom and caring for lady Bertram, that she would have no time at all to dwell on the unsure state of her heart.

As she was staring aimlessly out of the coach window, Edmund nudged her softly in order to get her attention. Turning to face him, Fanny made sure that her expressions showed no sign of the emotional turmoil she was in.

"Fanny, I have been meaning to ask you about uhm…. Well" he fiddled with his hands before continuing. "Well I know that you must have noticed my uhm, shall we call it marked preference for Miss Crawford."

She smiled to keep from crying and Edmund took this for encouragement.

"I really trust and care for you Fanny and I am glad that our friendship is such that I can speak freely to you about anything." Taking her hands in his he continued. "I honesty and truly have a great regard for Miss Crawford, but I also believe that the sensible thing would be to inquire about my uhm…Feelings to a close friend. And who better than you dear Fanny?"

He was clearly expecting her to speak. Isn't it ironic, she thought, that I know specifically what is expected of me in such a painful matter!

"Well I think that Miss Crawford is very pretty and she plays the harp very well." Fanny did not want to broche the subject of her character lest she be forced to concur with false hoods.

"I remember that the two of you spent allot of time together, and that fills my hear t because it facilitates my hope that you shall become good friends in time." Edmund let go of Fanny's hands and began to recite the many reasons for which he admired Miss Crawford.

Fanny sat dejected looking once more out of the window. She could not understand why everything had to be so complicated. If only the Crawford's had not come. She was Sure that Maria would still have done something foolish but everything else would most assuredly turn out differently!

--

Upon arrival fanny was greeted by the whole family at the door. To Fanny's surprise even Aunt Norris was present. As she stepped down from the carriage, Fanny noticed that her uncle look very old. Julia looked sullen while Aunt Norris looked almost ashamed. Only lady Bertram didn't seem to have changed much at all.

When they were all settled in the drawing room, Fanny could not help but feel awkward and embarrassed. Everyone one was either looking at her or trying not to because they really wanted to. Her uncle broke the silence with a cough, and then he began to talk.

"Now Fanny, believe me when I say that we are all happy to have you home with us." He paused and turned to her apparently requiring a reply.

"Yes sir" She said nervously. He smiled at her words.

"Now I know that at a time we were at odds, but I want you to know that I am choosing to put that all aside for the sake of our family. We all felt your absence in our own ways, and that my dear girl has led me, us to realize that the best course of action was to have you returned to us."

"Thank you uncle. I am very glad to be home."

"Well alright then, I am sure that you are very fatigued from your journey, so we shall not detain you any longer. You may go to your room and rest."

"Thank you sir." She bowed and left them all staring after her.

As she entered her room Fanny was over come by her feelings. She had so longed to be installed in this house once more. Every night she had longed for her little sung nook, the east room. Now that she was were she wanted to be she had no idea what to do. Her first thought was to follow her uncle instructions and lay down, but her mind travelled to her ailing cousin Tom. She took her travelling coat and gloves off and laid them neatly on her bed, and then she made her way to Tom's room.

The room was dark and stuffy. One of the maids was sitting but the window with her embroidery in hand.

"May I come and visit with Tom for a while?" Fanny whispered.

"Oh of course Miss, just mind that you don't wake him. I'm afraid that he has had a bad few days and this is the only sleep he has had in a while."

"All right, I promise to be discreet." She replied in a hushed tone.

"Would you like me to leave?"

Fanny wasn't sure but the maid solved her problem for her. "It's all right miss. I wont be far just ring the bell if you need anything." With those words she smiled and left gently closing the door behind her.

Fanny took the chair directly beside the bed and sat there staring at the occupant. His face was so devoid of color that he looked almost dead. His hair was scraggy and unkempt. And his breathing was irregular and raged. Fanny felt so sorry for Tom at that moment. She had never approved of his choice of life style but she would never have wished for such a thing to happen. Edmund had told her that his friends had abandoned him and he had been attacked, robbed and left half dead in the gutter. Her heart was wrenched to see him suffering so. Fanny started to cry softly and covered her face with her hands to muffle her sobs.

"Fanny?" a voice whispered.

Startled she lifted her head. "Oh Tom I'm sorry I woke you. I should leave" Fanny exclaimed getting up.

"It's fine, sit down" He whispered back. Fanny obeyed and sat down. Not knowing what to do with her self, she averted her eyes and stared at her lap.

"How long have you been back?" he asked.

"Less than an hour." She answered still looking at her lap. She could hear Tom chuckling a bit.

"Do I look that awful, fanny? It seems that you wouldn't look at me to save my life."

Hesitantly fanny raised her eyes. Tom had a smile on his face and some of his color had returned to his cheek. They sat there looking at each other for a while and than Tom began to cough. Fanny got up but Tom waved her off. She obeyed him and his cough subsided.

Smiling he spoke. "Thank you. So what have you been doing while I was away my dear? I would tell you about myself but that would be a bit boring and narcissistic don't you think."

Fanny couldn't help but smile. "I have been well Tom."

"OH comes now _dear_. I didn't ask you about your health. From what I see you are in better health than I am. I want to know about what you _did._ Don't tell me that you went off and married Crawford." He joked.

Fanny stiffened at the words. She had been trying to forgetter him. NO one had mentioned him by name so far, not even Edmund. During their entire journey, Edmund had tactfully avoided the subject of Henry Crawford and his proposal.

Misunderstanding her reaction for simple girlish embarrassment, Tom chided her. "Don't get frazzled Fanny. I won't intrude upon your personal life. Let us talk rather, about something neutral. Have you heard the news about poor Maria?"

Fanny was shocked to silence. Tom laughed. "Oh yes I agree that that might not be an appropriate topic for our afternoon chat." Turning and smiling at her he continued. "Would you please read to me?"

"Yes of course." Fanny went to the book shelf and retrieved a book. Showing it to him she asked" Will this do?"

"Of course Fanny." He answered. Tom closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow. As fanny began to read she started to feel a bit more comfortable and she was very glad that she could offer Tom some comfort in his time of need.

She had been reading for a few minutes when out of no where Tom spoke.

"Fanny "

"Yes Tom"

"Thank you for letting me talk." He smiled at her confused face. "Everyone is fussing, but you actually sat with me instead of insisting that I sleep."

"You are welcome dear cousin" She answered. Tom turned over and faced the wall. Under his breath he mumbled: "It's been a while since you last called me that."

Not hearing him Fanny took to reading once again. Within the next half hour Tom was swept into a peaceful slumber.

**AN: I know that this was a transitional chapter but I promise that there will be a bit more drama and excitement in the next. Thanks again to everyone who has read and let me know. If you have any questions/comments feel free to let me know. THANKS!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. i had alot of school work so i could not write. Sorry of the delay! Please keep reading cuase i will update more frequently over the summer. KEEP reviewing because it makes me a better writer!...i hope!**

IT had been two week since her arrival back at Mansfield and every thing seemed to have returned to the way it was before. Well not entirely. Aunt Norris for example was not nearly as awful as before. In fact the woman seemed defeated. Out of everyone in the family she seemed to have taken the news of Marias indiscretions the hardest. Although she didn't mope about, but there was always some acid edge lacking when she looked at people or gave orders to the servants. Most people did not notice it as much as fanny did. Even though fanny could not claim that she had enjoyed her aunt's vile behavior, she had to admit that it was a bit odd when the very thing she expected to happen did not transpire at all. As a result of the abatement of Aunt Norris's hatred of fanny, the young girl found herself with a lot of time at her disposal. Fanny spent her time divided mostly between keeping lady Bertram company and sitting with her ailing cousin. While the former could be extremely trying mentally, the latter was an oddly interesting experience. It seemed as though the only person she ever had an actual conversation with these days was Tom. She had not since there carriage ride home spoken at length to Edmund. He seemed to be always busy with his preparations for the ministry or alone somewhere doubtless thinking about his beloved Mary.

Over the years Fanny had come to view Tom as a delinquent, ungrateful leech whose sole purpose in life was to be self destructive. But the time which she spent by his sick bed had forced Fanny reevaluate her opinions and to truly appreciate his humanity, his intelligence and his sincere affection for his family, including herself. Fanny's capacity for amending misapprehensions was not limited to Tom alone. The time she spent nursing him caused her to increase her association with her other Cousin Julia. Although they had never been on the point of estrangement, it had been largely apparent to anyone who was minimally observant that the cousins lacked a common bond. Julia and her sister had grown up assuming a position of superiority, they had never been taught or expected to love and respect their relations. In fact the only relatives they had associated closely with were Aunt Norris and Frances. The former was regarded by the sisters as a silly old woman and the latter as mindless tool to be used for their pleasure. Although Julia was not essentially heartless, she did on the other hand posses a weakness of character which disposed her to bee influenced by her sister. Julia had always gone alone with anything her older sister did. If Maria was cruel to the cook, then so was Julia, if Maria decided that she would sass her mother then consequently Julia would do so as well. But once out of her sibling's sphere of influence, Julia had a chance to realize the ill that she had committed against others. As a result she whole heartedly made a resolution to make amends for her actions. The whole house hold was quite taken aback by the sudden change in the girl's comportment. There were many questions and speculations but none could truly account for it.

As Julia improved it seemed that her tie to Aunt Norris, be it thin, seemed to wane. Where before they would have been close allies, now they were mere acquaintances. The Julia of old would have shared her dilemmas with her aunt and sought her council but now their conversation was limited to the weather and other trivialities.

Although fanny had mildly notice the change in her cousin she had not placed much though upon the subject. Consequently it came as a shock to Fanny when on a warm Tuesday morning, Julia asked her in the most humble and solicitous tone to accompany her on her walk. All fanny could do was to mumble her consent and hurriedly collect her wrap and hat.

As they walked together silently, fanny searched her mind for any reason for which her cousin would want to have a private conversation with her. Since she had returned they had not exchange above a hundred words. They only times fanny could recall ever speaking with Julia were by Toms sick bed and perhaps a few times in the dinning hall or the drawing room.

Not knowing Julia's motives threw fanny off so much that she started to complain inwardly about her nerves. Hold yourself together she chided. Perhaps she was spending too much time with lady Bertram, she thought.

"Don't you think that the sky is especially lovely today Fanny?" Julia asked suddenly.

A bit confused by the situation as a whole, Fanny fumbled for a response. " Uhm of course, I mean yes it is."

After a moments silence Julia continued. "Fanny when was the last time we talked like this?"

Talked? Fanny thought. They had barely exchanged two sentences! The sad part was that she could not recall any time since childhood when they had "talked".

"I well… I-"

"I know you are too honest to pretend". A shy smile appeared on Julia's face as she continued. "Fanny before you says any thing I would like to tell you that I am earnestly happy that you are home."

"Thank you Julia" Fanny answered, touched by the sincerity in her voice.

"Fanny, I realize that you and I are not as close as we should be. I recognized that it unfortunately is my fault. As long as you have lived here I have been nothing but awful to you. I never treated you with the remotest amount of respect or love that you were due. And being the good hearted creature that you are, you have born all of my assaults and insults. I am overwhelmingly ashamed of my actions against you but I accept that it is quite too late to expect any reversal of the situation. I fear that the damage is already too deep. All I can hope for at this point is you forgiveness cousin. Please!" She implored.

Fanny was at a loss for words. She looked blankly at Julia. There were tears in her eyes. Fanny was so overcome by emotion that without ever thinking she threw her arms around Julia in a warm confronting embrace. She had never hated Julia or Maria. She never liked how they treated her but as hard as she might have tried she could not hold a bitter grudge against them for all eternity. Hearing Julia's apology had caused her to look within her self. Julia was so guilt ridden that her words melted away any long standing shred of hatred that was in fanny's heart.

She had never imagined it but now that she was in this moment she was so happy it felt vaguely like they were sisters.

After their reconciliatory walk, Fanny and Julia became fast friends. The two found that they had more in common with each other than they had previously assumed. They took walks together and talked about literature and art and politics. Fanny learned that her cousin was not simply concerned with fashion and society. Julia was actually a very intelligent and loving girl.

It happened that one afternoon while the two were heatedly discussing the merits of book they had recently read; that the butler had came in and announced the arrival of a guest.

"A mister Charles Hindly is in the foyer wishing to speak with the lady of the house" the butler announced.

"Oh send him in please James." Julia answered.

Fanny was a bit surprised for this was the first time she had heard of any one named Charles Hindly. The fact that her cousin had agreed to admit the man with out any apprehension bespoke of a familiarity between acquaintances. But before Fanny had the chance to question Julia on the matter, the object of her contemplation walk tentatively through the door.

The man was tall to say the least. In fanny's estimation he had to be about 6'2. As he approached, Fanny noticed that he had curly blonde hair and sharply blue eyes. His slightly tan skin and simple clothing hinted at his being a man of the outdoors. A gentleman farmer perhaps.

"It is nice to see you Mr. Hindly, but I am afraid that my mother is not in at this very moment." Julia said

"Oh I'm sad to hear it. " He said tentatively. "I just came by to inquire after Tom." Looking at fanny he added "I am truly sorry for my intrusion. I-"

"OH no you need not worry. You are always welcome in our home Mr. Hindly."

"Thank you Miss Bertram. I wish that you could c call me Charles, I always feel as old as my farther when people use my surname."

As for his age he didn't look to be more than seven and twenty. Fanny's interest was piqued by this exchange. It all seemed innocent but there was something else there that did not sit well with her.

Julia slapped her forehead, when she finally realized that she had neglected to introduce fanny. "Mr. Hindly, this is Fanny price my beloved cousin." Taking Fanny's arm she continued. "Fanny this is Mr. Hindly. He is one of our neighbors, but most importantly he was the man who found Tom and brought him home."

"Oh it is nice to meet you sir. Thank you for bringing Tom back to us."

"It is nice to meet you as well Miss Price. And you are welcome although it was nothing of consequence for I did what any one would have."

There was an awkward silence in the room for half a minute. Fanny was looking out the window, while Julia and Mr. Hindly were both stealing glances at each other.

"Have you been reading Foresters latest novel?" Charles asked pointing at the book which la on the table.

"Yes" both girls spoke at the same time. Charles Chuckled a bit.

"It seems as though you both might be of service to me then. My brother and I have both read the novel. He tells me that it is a scathing satire against women and thinks that no woman could like it. I on the other hand don't personally like the book but I believe that it is not all targeted at the fairer sex. See as you are both woman I would like to have you opinions on the matter."

"We were just in the throws of discussing a similar matter. I am of the opinion that Foresters heart has been turned against women in general because of his unfortunate first marriage. After his unpleasant experience, it seem as though all the man can write are tales which chronically the fickleness of a woman's heart. Men are portrayed as infinitely superior in every respect while women are foolish and inconstant!" Julia exclaimed

"When was forester ever married? He is relatively new and I had no idea that he had been married." Charles asked

"Well it is not exactly a matter of fact that he was indeed married but I personally believe that he must have been for there is no other reason for him to write so. You might be of the same mind as fanny and laugh at such an assertion but I adamantly believe that it is true"

"Dear Julia I never laughed, I simply do not think that he was married. The protagonist t in his story is a female. If he hated women why would he focus a whole book on them? Why not write about man?" Fanny countered.

"That is the very point which I made to my brother miss price!" Charlse said excitedly.

"He used a woman in order to better berate us and speak on our flaws!" Julia insisted

"But isn't that the objective of almost every work of fiction? To illuminate the virtues and more importantly the vices of humanity was foresters only goal. He used a woman and had her act in the same way a man would because many people believe that women are impervious to certain types of behaviors. In truth men and women are equally capable of hurting each other." Fanny said solemnly.

She had never connected forester's book to her self personally, but now after hearing her own words fanny was touch but their pertinence to her current state. She had never admitted it to her self consciously but the truth was that she, Fanny Price, was personally responsible for tearing a hole into someone heart.

This realization silenced Fanny for the rest of the afternoon. Fortunately her two companions were completely oblivious to her change of demeanor. Julia and Charles continued to chat animatedly on the merits of the novel and various subject. By the end of the day Charles made his goodbyes to them and promised to pay Tom a visit some.

**AN/ Keep reviewing!!Do not fear if anyone here is a liason fan or knows what i mean, i have to say that fanny& henry will not drag on endless like liz and jason.(GH)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: THANKYOU TO EVRYONE WHO HAS READ SO FAR!! I really appreciate you guys! I know tha I promised to be more frequent with my reviews but I got caught up in another story which I was working on. I want to stress that I really appreciate my readers!! Please don't loose interst!!**

As her relationships with two of her cousins began to grow and develop, it seemed that the exact opposite was happening between Fanny and Edmund. Edmund was now the parson and was completely devoted to his task! The time that they spent together was limited to family meals and Sunday services. Fanny could recall the bond that they shared in childhood. He was the only one who had ever understood her or cared back then. But now…now things had changed. Tom and Julia cared for her, they loved her and she loved them as well. Now she could honestly say that she was part of a family. The only aspect of this that Fanny disliked was the unfortunate fact the Maria was not there. Fanny felt almost as though she had usurped her cousin and taken her position of sister, friend and Daughter.

The Bertrams all treated her with love and respect. They seemed to all have gained a new sense of appreciation for Fanny and she in turn had gained some understanding of her relations. As Tom's health continued to improve, the Bertrams began to spend an increasing amount of time together. In the past she used to positively dread the evenings in the drawing room but now she looked upon them with giddy anticipation. In stead of having to sit alone working on embroidery or reading to her aunt, Fanny could now freely converse with her cousins.

It was on one such an evening that Fanny began to perceive the magnitude of the rift between her and Edmund. Mr. Hindly had been invited over for supper. At the dinning table he had been placed next to Edmund. The pair had talked incessantly during the whole meal. On few occasions that Edmund had turned to her and addressed her .yet Most of the time all he required was for her agreement on a point had made.

That evening Fanny went to bed with a renewed perspective on things. For so long she had yearned to garner Edmund's affections, his heart. But as she lay on her bed she was struck with the thought that perhaps Edmund would never love her in the sense she had previously hopped for. And perhaps it was for the better. Fanny could see that she had built up an illusion in her mind of who Edmund was. She had taken his acts of kindness and foolishly romanticized him as a white Knight come to save her and win her heart. But now that there was nothing to "save" her from she was afforded a clearer picture of the way things stood; of who Edmund was.

The next morning, Fanny was out in the garden seated under her favorite tree penning in her dairy. She was so engrossed in her task that she didn't perceive her cousin walking up to her.

"Fanny"

"Huh? Oh Tom you startled me!" She said sheepishly.

"Sorry" he said taking a seat beside her. Pointing at her diary he asked. "What are you writing about? I hope that it's not a lot of trumpery about the weather. In my experience women who spend an excess of two lines describing the weather have not an ounce of sense in their heads." He said smiling.

"And as a result those women are top on your list of possible brides." Fanny countered in a mock matter of fact voice.

Tom was silent for a moment but then burst out in uproarious laughter. Seeing that she had not offended him Fanny joined in.

It surprised Tom at times that his cousin actually had a sense of humor. In the past she had always seemed too dull and stiff to ever have an amusing thought. Now as he sat on the bench with her, he could say that she was truly droll.

"You know you can be quite cruel at times, honest but cruel." Tom said with a smile.

"It's a good thing then that you are quite impervious to any of my acerbic comments" She answered trying not to giggle.

Laughing Tom said "So exactly what do you write about Fanny? It has been a mystery that I have pondered over. In my experience, which of course has been limited to interactions with silly girls ; women tend to write about their feelings and their fashion, but the problem is that you Fanny are a level headed girl who has a lot of sense."

"I write about my feelings like any other member of my sex."

"Now you lie with ease like every other member of your sex. You Fanny are much too observant to focus your musings on your self. You most assuredly take down a thorough summary of the days events. In fact I would wager that you have kept a keen eye on our Julia and Mr. Hindly. Aye" he said wagging his eyebrows.

"Julia and Mr. Hindly? But why would—"

"Oh don't tell me that you are as blind as that my dear." Tom said eyeing her curiously.

"Blind to What? Julia and Mr. Hindly are good friends; it's quite natural that they bonded over your sick bed."

"But I'm not ill anymore yet Mr. Hindly frequents our home just as if not more that before."

"Well that does not—" that very moment Julia made her way around the corner.

"Oh Fanny ! I'm so glad I found you. I need to have a word with you" She looked at Tom. " Privately"

Without hesitation Fanny quickly made her way to Julia's side. The two walked out in the direction of the house leaving Tom alone on the bench. Tom sat quietly until he noticed a piece of paper at his feet. In her rush Fanny must have dropped it, he thought as he picked it up.

He unfolded it, his eyes skimming over it. 'My dearest Fanny' who would refer to Fanny as such he asked himself. As he continued to read Tom was quite confused but the missive. Henry apparently still loved Fanny. But that could not be since the man himself had told Sir Tom that he had no interest in her.

* * *

At that very moment Julia and Fanny were walking arm in arm. Julia had been considerably quiet for someone who needed to talk. Fanny could tell that there was something troubling Julia.

Suddenly Julia stopped and took Fanny's hands in her own. Fanny peered at her cousin's face. She could not quite decipher that look. Julia looked almost jubilant yet there was a hint of nervous apprehension mixed in.

"Fanny" Julia began. "I have some news t impart to you. I'm sure that this will not come as much of a surprise to you but I suppose that I must tell you my self." She took a deep breath and continued. "Over the past few weeks Mr. Hindly and I have formed an attachment. I believe that I fell in love with him from the very first moment I laid eyes on him. I can not explain it but by some miracle he feels the same way about me. I never thought that I could be any happier until last night. After we had dinned I went out side to get some air. Charles, Mr. Hindly joined me out on the terrace. At first we were conversing about the stars and then… He asked me to marry him! "

Fanny was shocked beyond words. Tom had been right! But what was more Julia was engaged! All she could think to do was hug her.

"Can you believe it? Soon I will be blissfully employed in the state of matrimony! Mrs. Hindly." Julia said dreamily.

"I'm so happy for you Julia" Fanny said earnestly. "But in all honesty I had no idea that you and Mr. Hindly were attached. All of this comes as a pleasant surprise to me."

"Really? I was positively certain that you knew."

The two resumed their walk. "Well I'm glad that you know for you are my dearest friend. In fact, you were the first person I thought of telling last night."

Fanny smiled. "Dose uncle tom Know?"

"Not yet But Charles will pay him a visit tonight."

Fanny was delighted for her cousin. Julia deserved to find love. And as far as she was aware Charles Hindly was a good man.

True to his word Mr. Hindly came to the house that night and made his intentions known to Sir. Tom. Uncle Tom needless to say was very pleased with his daughter's choice. He even went as far as to say that he could not have asked for a better man to wed his daughter. Julia and Charles insisted that their wedding be a small affair but Sir. Tom would not hear it. He asserted that he would give his daughter away in style. After arguing at length and in vain, a compromise was reached. Although the wedding would be small with less than fifty people from the e parish in attendance, Julia would go to London to buy her wedding clothes. It was decided that fanny and Aunt Norris would accompany Julia.

TBC-- So what do you think?


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